CHAPTER EIGHT
Three hours later
Wednesday morning
March 26 – 10:45 A.M. MDT
Fort Logan National Cemetery, Colorado
Alex stepped back to admire her work. She spent the last hour cleaning the eleven granite stones which marking the final resting place of the Fey Special Forces Team. As she often did when she was here, she talked to her friends and teammates. She told them about her life. She shared her loneliness and grief. While Jesse hovered nearby, she detailed everything that happened.
In her effort to keep her few living friends close, she had lost them all. She’d known Troy since basic training, Trece and White Boy almost as long. Matthew had been her sparing partner, her buddy and her closest friend through some very dark nights. She spent six months in Walter Reed with Vince. Within a few days, they would be scattered to the wind.
And she would be alone.
Moving from stone to stone, she lit incense with Jesse’s Zippo lighter. Peace be with Alexander, the stone they laid for her, Nathan, Paul, Jax, Dean, Scott, Tommy, Dwight, Jesse, Mike and finally Charlie. Standing in the fragrant smoke, she wondered what was next for her.
Her failure was complete.
She couldn’t move on from her days on the Fey Special Forces Team.
Not willing to face her life, she clicked Jessie’s Zippo lighter opened and closed. Charlie bought these lighters to commemorate their first mission. Since her lighter was still broken, she used Jesse’s.
Hearing a car pull up behind her, she placed her hand on the Glock 9 mm which rested at her sacrum. She turned around to see a familiar black limousine.
“I thought I’d find you here,” her father, and General-turned-Senator, Patrick Hargreaves said.
“How did you get here so fast?” she asked.
“I was in town for a series of meetings.” He looked at his watch. “I’m meeting with the governor right this minute.”
He put his arm around his favorite child in an open hug. They watched the smoke from the incense blow over the eleven granite stones.
“You’re not wearing your Alyssa get up,” he said.
“Couldn’t get the lenses in. Crying,” Alex said. “So I gave up.”
“Is it safe?”
Alex shrugged.
“I’m sorry, Dad. I know you wanted me to be career military, but I couldn’t do it. I’ve failed you. And I’m very sorry.”
Patrick made a noise, somewhere between a snort and a grunt. Noticing her look, he worked his face toward something more sincere. His blue eyes danced with laughter.
“There’s no way you can fail me, Alex,” he said.
“Why did you laugh?”
“Because I gave my superior officer the same speech a couple months into leading my own team,” he said. “What happened?”
“They don’t respect me. I asked them to do specific things and they refused. We were on assignment a few days ago and… It was a nightmare. How did you find out?”
“Initially? Your sister, Erin called. The Admiral has assigned Matthew to another extended stay in Afghanistan. He’s to leave in the morning.”
“He is a soldier. We are at a war,” Alex said. “What did Erin want you to do?”
“Intervene,” he said. “I’ll tell you. The Admiral must be particularly angry with Mac Clenaghan. The assignment is a dog especially for a Captain.”
“She made the choice to date someone with a twenty year military contract.”
“You’re angry.”
“Heartbroken,” Alex said. “Lost.”
“You should know the men were reassigned the moment you left base. Olivas is assigned to a nasty project dealing with the FARC in Columbia. Rasmussen no longer works for Ben. He was recalled to Washington DC where he will be given a thousand civilian profiles. Hutchins’s project is so bad that he’s contacting doctors for a medical discharge, which will be denied.”
“Trece and White Boy?”
“You don’t want to know. They were dealt with first. Their commander will not tolerate even a whiff of disrespect let alone abject disobedience.”
“Zack?”
“Captain Jakkman has been grounded. At Schriever, no less. Indefinitely. And he’s angry. He says he didn’t do anything. But he’s a part of your team. I think they are going to send him through flight school or something annoying. His co-pilot was reassigned to Iraq.”
“What about Flagg?”
“Do you really want to know?”
“I guess so,” Alex said.
“Full military court martial,” Patrick said.
“I guess he won’t have to go to Iraq,” Alex said. “He can go about his college boy life and never look back.”
Patrick raised his eyebrows at her dark comment.
“The Admiral has no intention of breaking up your team,” Patrick said. “At least that’s what he told me. He’s planning on letting them stew for a while though. They’ve had an easy year – great pay, sleep in your own bed, set your own schedule. He wants them to understand that they are soldiers first.”
“I hope the Admiral has someone in mind to lead them. I’m not doing it,” Alex said. “I can’t.”
Patrick’s blue eyes reviewed Alex’s face. Her chin was set in stubborn defiance. Her lips were pressed to her teeth. The tight skin against her cheekbones told him of her anxiety induced starvation. More than anything, there was an uncharacteristic darkness about his bright child. As if to protect her from the dark, he pulled her closer.
“You’re not eating,” he said.
Alex looked up at her father then shook her head.
“Listen Dad, I appreciate how busy you are. I bet the governor isn’t happy about waiting for you. Why don’t we schedule lunch sometime next week? We can talk then.”
Patrick laughed.
“You only fail if you quit,” he said.
“Well, there you have it,” Alex said. “I quit.”
“What’s got your goat, Alex? I’ve never known you to quit anything. Why this? And why now? You didn’t even warn them. You just disbanded the men.”
“I have another contract out on my life.”
“And? That’s been true for the last two and a half years.”
Alex shook her head. Patrick let the silence lag.
“I miss them,” Alex said. “That’s all. I wish…”
“The Admiral assured me. If you need to leave the Army, we’ll make it work. No one should have to endure what you’ve been through. And to be treated like this? By people who say they are your friends?”
“It’s like being assaulted again.”
“It is an assault,” Patrick said. “Plain and simple, they took advantage of you.”
“What about the President and his friend?”
“The President’s been informed that the Fey is not available. He doesn’t like it much, but he’ll survive. Why don’t you take some leave?”
“And what? Watch the construction workers put up dry wall?”
“You could stay at our house,” Patrick said. “Your mother would love to see you.”
“Yeah, I bet. She can gloat. She always said women shouldn’t be soldiers.”
“Oh honey,” Patrick said.
“Sorry, Dad. I’m pretty grim.”
“I was pretty grim when I was in your position.”
“What helped?” Alex asked.
“I got out of my own way,” Patrick said. “I gave commands and not requests. I spoke my mind and let the chips fall where they may, even with my friends. I became a leader by acting like one.”
Alex reacted viscerally to his last statement. Opening her mouth, she turned to say something. Shaking her head at her father, she placed and lit another incense stick at each grave stone. She paused at Charlie O’Brien’s stone then walked back to her father.
“You’re saying I can quit if I want to or I can choose to be a leader.”
“Yes, that’s what I’m saying,” Patrick said.
“I don’t know what to do next,” she said.
“Take your time. Maybe you should schedule a day at the spa.” He laughed at the revulsion on her face. “Call Matthew. He was your second in command. And, according to your sister, he is right now packing for rural Afghanistan. I’ll tell you this, Alexandra. He had no idea you were upset. When Colonel Gordon read off the incidents, Matthew asked to be relieved of his rank. He gave no explanation and made no excuse. He only said he lost track of himself.”
Alex nodded.
“Honey, you have to step into your own power,” he said. “You’ve hidden behind your twin, under Ben’s wing, or even as my daughter for too long. You’re better than all of us combined. Let yourself shine for a while.”
Alex sighed.
“Your mother asked me if you might consider coming for dinner,” he said. “We’ve invited Colin and Julie. Your mother is focused on Julie’s pregnancy, she won’t bother you much.”
“Fixated on her first grandchild.”
“Julie is about to pop.”
“So get to work?”
“How about breakfast?” Patrick asked. “There’s a wonderful greasy spoon not far from here. I haven’t been there in an age. Let’s give the Secret Service something to worry about.”
“Thanks Dad,” Alex said. “But I need to deal with this.”
“Good Girl.”
FFFFF
An hour and a half later
Wednesday mid-morning
March 26 – 11:45 AM
Wahoo’s Fish Tacos, Denver, Colorado
“I’ve requested to be relieved of my rank,” Matthew said.
Alex picked up a chip looked at it then set it back in the basket of tortilla chips on the table. They were the only people sitting on the narrow end of the patio right off the parking lot. The late winter sun peeked out from behind the clouds, but it was still cool. Inside, the restaurant was filling with an early lunch crowd.
“And?”
“Come on, Alex. You never said a word to me. Not one word.”
“You are an adult, an officer in the US Army, for God’s sake. I need to tell you you’re insubordinate? Disobeying a direct order as you did again this morning?”
Matthew’s mouth fell open. His face flushed red.
“When I heard the list of incidents?” Matthew shook his head. “I couldn’t believe it. And I knew the list was HALF of what has happened. I…”
“You’re just a complete asshole? For most of a year?”
“I have racked my mind as to why I behaved so badly,” Matthew said. “You’ve seen my file. There is not one report of insubordination, disrespect or anything else.”
“Until you started working for me.”
“Exactly.”
“So it’s my fault.”
“No, it’s my fault,” Matthew said.
They fell silent as the waiter dropped off their lunch. Not sure of what to do next, Alex focused trying to eat her rice, beans and charbroiled fish. Matthew cut open his burrito then threw his utensils on the table.
“Fuck,” he said.
Crossing his arms, he looked away from her. When he turned back, his eyes were filled with tears.
“When you were injured, I thought I would do anything I could do for you to survive, even one more day. When you told me you were building a team, I jumped at the chance to work with you. I took the chance and fucked it up. In the process, I’ve betrayed you, took you for granted and destroyed our friendship.”
“I don’t understand why,” Alex said. “We’ve been friends for more than a decade. I rescued your ass. TWICE!”
“I lost track of myself. I used you until there wasn’t anything left to use. I live in your condo. I sleep with your sister. I spent the raise you got for me with abandon. I’ve been focused on my life, my status and… I don’t know… where we were going to dinner.”
“There’s no way this is ever going to work,” Alex said. “I need a team, Matthew, not a group of parasites ready to Hoover up whatever’s available to them. I can’t create a team by myself. Every single person has to pitch in.”
Matthew nodded.
“Why did you give Flagg his papers without consulting me?”
“I don’t know,” Matthew said. “He’s such an asshole. So smug and superior. I guess I thought it would knock him down to earth.”
“And you didn’t tell me because…?”
“I have no excuse,” Matthew said. “I didn’t tell you because I’m an arrogant, insubordinate prick.”
“That’s honest,” Alex said. Unable to look at the food, Alex pushed the plate away from her. “What do you want to do?”
“I want to build a team. I want to succeed at the mission of building a multi-unit team to extract hostages from around the world. There are hundreds, if not thousands of hostages who need rescuing. In betraying you, I have betrayed them as well.”
“I cannot do this myself, Matthew,” Alex said. “If you agree to help me, you have to get and keep everyone in line. They are not your playmates. They are your teammates.”
“Yes,” he said. “Troy feels as bad as I do. Raz didn’t say a word. He just left for Washington. And Hutchins? I mean, I got to know him when he was your roommate at Walter Reed but I don’t think I really respected him until today. He simply listened to what Colonel Gordon said and signed the document.”
“I heard he was trying for a medical.”
“Emily,” Matthew said. “He nodded his head and left. Let me ask you this. What do you want?”
“I’m not sure,” Alex said. “I’ve given up on a team. Right now, I’d like to take a bath.”
“Still no hot water?”
“We have hot water. It hasn’t made it to the bathtub yet.”
Unsure of how to move forward, they each fell silent.
“What will you do?” Matthew asked.
“I’m not sure. I have a lot of options including being a housewife for my soon to be wealthy surgeon husband.”
“Is there any possibility of a second chance?” Matthew asked.
Alex looked over Matthew’s shoulder to the Denver skyline. The clouds were rolling in again. They would see snow again before nightfall. Looking around her, she noted the office professionals were venturing onto the patio.
“Sure. But not a third.”
“Yes sir,” Matthew said. “I will speak with the men. I will get their agreement to work toward a team or they will not be on the team. Period.”
Alex nodded. They walked through the patio toward their vehicles.
“And our friendship?”
Alex shrugged.
“Well, at least there’s a chance.”
She gave him a slight smile. He stood and held his arms out. They hugged. He kissed her cheek.
“Thanks.”
She nodded.
“I’m going home. You’ll let me know?”
“Yes sir.”
Walking along the wall of the restaurant, they were standing in an empty parking space next to Alex’s Jeep CJ when Matthew said, “Do you want to…”
Alex heard a sound her mind refused to interpret. A starburst of blood and tissue popped into the air from Matthew chest. Matthew fell forward to the asphalt.
F
